I teach college academic writing; one of the topics I covered was the Workplace Culture. In an article that delineated why workplace culture is important, I came across a phrase that I am very familiar with: surface acting. Suface acting is a psychological term for pretending to feel good or inline with one’s peers when you don’t. Surface acting takes a lot of energy and emotional labor.
Yes, I am nodding my head because typically I have to surface act to get through the questions and comments because if I truly engage I fear that I will fall apart right on the spot. So what does surface acting look like:
“Hey, how are you doing? No, I mean, how is your MS? I see you out and about.”
Surfacing acting response: “Great. I love the season; the fall colors are awesome.”
An emotionally open response: “This darn MS is unpredictable; today my legs aren’t numb, and I don’t have to spend so much time, energy, and thinking about each step. Today, My fingers remain more so numb and stiff, but I am managing; I have to retype a lot of words and proofread everything over and over.”
In all honesty, very few people know how to a react to an emotionally open response. We know people do not want to dwell on illness or disability, so this becomes an engima. How much do I tell and to whom?
It is reassuring that people care about me, but I have to conjure up a lot of energy and words to get through each day and remain active and positive. Self-Talk really has helped me surface my disappointments when my body does want to work as it used it.
MS Fortunate 